Kissing One Up To God

I have for years been amazed at the pure audacity of professional athletes thanking god for helping them perform at a higher level than the other athletes on the playing field. It doesn't matter which sport, they all do it. I am here today to blow the lid off of this practice and to tell you how and why this actually happens.

The following is a transcript obtained from TMZ of a phone conversation we all need to see;

"Hello, hello...God, can you hear me?.... Can you hear me?.... Let me move over here, can you hear me now, It's Judas? .... Ok great, you know God service really sucks here in Purgatory..... Yeah right, you get what you pay for.....Hey did you get the new IPhone 6?.......  Anyway, I need a little favor this week and .....Yes God, I realize I have some set of.... No, no, I'm done with locusts, those things really creep me out.......No, I don't want to smite someone.... Look, I've got the Jets this week over New England and.....Yes God, the Jets..... No I haven't gotten into the wine again.... I got this Roman who knows a guy who tells him the Jets are ready to bust it out this week, they just need a little help..... Yeah right, very funny God but he tells me they just need a little help.... Look, I know you're not made of miracles,  but I was thinking if you gave Geno just a little zets....Whoa, whoa ok, ok, I understand you are made of miracles....Don't get so touchy we're just talking here... The weather forecast is for rain, I figure you do that little wave, you know, the one the Pope does, over the rain just as Geno is coming onto the field, he gets a little dose and bing, bang boom he's Joe Montana this week.... Yes God, I know he stole the wave from you, yes, he should get his own move.... Ok, I'll tell him..... The spread is 6 points, I need the Jets to cover so let's say 20 to 10 final score and I finally get that freakin' Satan off my back, you wanna talk about a putz, OY!.....So whaddaya think there Goddy, old Goddy old Chum?..... Sorry, I thought we had a little bro thing going on here.... Huh, what's in it for you?.... You're kidding right?....You're God, what do you need?....You want props, a two finger kiss up to the sky and a thank you to my savior!!!!!!....You're God and you want God Damn props?.... Yes, I understand, number 3.....Lords name in vain... Uh huh, 5 Hail Mary's, 3 Lords Prayer and AN ACT OF CONTRITION!....Don't you think you're being a little heavy handed here..... Yes God, Satan can be very tough when you can't pay the vig.... Sooooooo, we're good here right?.... Rain, wave, Geno gets wet, turns into Montana and bye-bye Satan....Ok, I'll let Geno know.... You drive a hard bargain God...."

"Hello, hello...Geno, can you hear me?.... Can you hear me?.... Let me move over here, can you hear me now, It's Judas?...Yeah we're good.... Of course I'm sure... Can you trust me?.... Hey Geno, if you can't trust Judas, who can you trust?

So this Sunday when you see  you favorite player giving props you can know for sure that Satan has once again been thwarted.